So it’s been like a whole month or so which means it’s cool to talk spoilers for Infinity War now, right?
Cool?
Cool.
You have been warned.
I’ve been through hell and back this month, and after finally submitting my Master’s thesis 5 minutes before the deadline, after not sleeping for almost 48 hours and also writing most of the discussion in some sort of trance-like state, I decided it was acceptable to go see Infinity War.
The issue with going to see Infinity War after writing a 10,000 word biochemistry thesis is that I kept calling it “Affinity War”. Which is. Well. Not quite the same thing.
On another note, my granddad tried to argue with me on the merits of why it’s called a Master’s thesis and not a Mistress’s thesis – to which I argued it’s probably the same patriarchal roots as a Bachelor’s degree and not a Bachelorette’s degree…
…Anyway.
The short and sweet of the matter is that I would probably give this movie a 9/10. Anybody who knows me knows I’m quite non-biased when it comes towards scoring a movie, so I would like to think of this as a reasonable measure.
So first thing’s first: I’ll address a few plot points, before hitting the movie as a whole concept.
I think one of the things that sort of threw me off a little at the beginning of the movie was Loki’s death. I wasn’t sure how to really convey my feelings about why this felt wrong but then I watched a few videos trying to help me understand how to play dungeons and dragons and it sort of explained how I felt.
Loki’s death was not dramatically appropriate. Maybe I’m desensitised to character death, maybe I’m still running on adrenaline fumes from submitting a thesis I didn’t proofread, who knows. But I just sort of… Didn’t care?
There’s nothing worse than a well-established character being killed off in the first 15 minutes of a movie. It’s like a Sherlock Holmes movie where Watson trips over a rock and spends the rest of the movie in a coma, and you sort of completely ignore it.
I’m not world’s biggest Loki fanboy but… He deserved more?
That’s mostly where my critiques stop for this movie. It was stupidly pretty, the plot was somewhat logical, and they managed to wrangle an all-star cast without anybody overpowering and nobody chewing the scenery.
One plus: Wanda appears to have lost her accent by living in Scotland for a while. I am very pleased about this.
It’s also the most empty I’ve ever seen Edinburgh train station. Like, wow.
I’m absolutely in love with Spider-Man.
In. Love.
I haven’t seen the latest Spider-Man movie because I was, like the masses, getting a little fed up of the whole Uncle Ben death scene retconning. But seeing little Tom Holland’s performance in Marvel’s latest marvel.
I now really need to go find me a copy of Spider-Man.
His entire performance was just the Spider-Man we needed in this universe. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked the Amazing Spider-Man and I guess those other three have some sort of charm, but this is the only one of the three I feel actually fits into the MCU.
Steve growing a beard somehow threw me off, but mostly because now he very much looks like one of the guys on my course, and that’s giving me some confusing emotions.
On a similar note, Bucky reminded me how much I miss my Monday night pub quiz (shout-out to Doug, whom I miss dearly).
Drax steals the show, as a real, well-written character, and Groot’s awkward teenage phase is, to be honest, an accurate representation of me as a teenager. Walking around behind the adults playing video games.
The only real issue I had with this movie, other than the mild Loki sideswipe, is that it didn’t give me a satisfactory ending. As everybody slowly “dies” (and I am by no means convinced that a single one of them died) I lost interest a little. Mostly because it wasn’t impactful.
I just stopped caring, knowing that the second part of this movie is going to most likely deal with time travel and the consequences etc. etc. let’s all go live through Flashpoint again, why not.
I love playing with time travel.
So.
Much.
(Sigh).
I won’t go into much detail on this whole “oh no everybody died” plot line, because I know it won’t last, but there’s one that I did appreciate.
Peter Parker.
For whatever reason, he was the only character that got an actual scene? And it finally gave Tony Stark a little more humanity? After the whole Civil War bro-fight, where you either agreed with Cap or you liked Iron Man as a character more (don’t get me started on that), Tony didn’t exactly come across in the best light.
And this movie sort of brought him back to the light side.
Which makes me a little worried for the future of his character.
I know that by the end of Infinity War, somebody’s gotta die. It’s inevitable.
But I wasn’t worried about Iron Man – until now. The biggest issue with a character getting a redemption arc is that it’s often also the last arc they have.
Now I’m a little nervous.
I was a little worried about them pulling the Guardians into the movie, because it’s not really the sort of thing that meshes well in terms of genre; Guardians is very sci-fi, but the rest of the Marvel universe is very… Earth-bound. But it worked, and it worked well!
I’m also still choosing to mostly ignore Dr Strange, but that’s probably for personal reasons so… Sorry, Burntisland Cowdenbeath.
On a last note, I want to try and start a dialogue. This is most likely a cynical, controversial opinion, so bear with me.
Thanos’ plan was not as outrageous as it sounds.
I realise that maybe he’s not exactly going about it in the most… humanitarian way. Thanos’ great plan for world domination that has been teased for a few years now is actually… to kill half the universe’s population so nobody starves and he can retire happily to a farm.
Yep.
Life goals.
I’ll admit – not a solid plan. But Thanos, in his weird way, is trying to help?
He wants to stop world hunger and overpopulation in the only way he’s found is functional.
Randomised genocide.
I’m curious – does anybody have an opinion on this? I get where he’s coming from, and he’s not as overpowered as other supervillains seen in previous years (I’m looking at you, Justice League). And I don’t agree with the methods… Comment below and throw some shade, and hit me up with theories for the next instalment because I’m sure it will be a wild ride.
As always, remember to take breaks during your studies to keep some sanity, but don’t forget to try your hardest. Or something motivational. Idk, I’m almost finished with life and also my degree so whatever, punch me.